Website design By BotEap.comDad is following 7-year-old Kenny to the shower. Kenny drags his towel across the rug. Dad says, “Pick up your towel!” Kenny turns around and sees that the towel is on the floor. He picks it up and walks to the bathroom.

Website design By BotEap.comIs there a problem with this exchange? In fact, there is. If you stop and think about Daddy’s parenting style, maybe you can figure it out. Are you being authoritarian, permissive, or a revolutionary parent? How would you improve dad’s communication skills?

Website design By BotEap.comYou are not sure? Well, let’s take a closer look at the situation. If you believe the adage, when people know you do it best, apply it here. What’s wrong with dragging a bath towel across the floor? It gets dirty. People like to dry off with a clean towel. It’s more hygienic that way.

Website design By BotEap.comDad uses commands to structure his son’s behavior. “Stop bothering the dog.” “Put your toys away.” “Take your bath.” “Do your homework.” “Turn off the TV.” “Do this – don’t do that!” Perhaps there are a thousand or more orders that parents use to guide their children, but orders are the hallmark of the authoritarian parent. These parents give orders and their child is expected to do what has been ordered. The subordinate (in our case, Kenny) is not expected to think for himself. Dad just tells him what to do.

Website design By BotEap.comWhat if Dad changed his communication style to stated sentences? What difference would that make? “Kenny, your towel is dragging on the floor.” Dad says a fact. Once Kenny’s consciousness is stimulated, he can choose between picking up the towel or continuing to drag it.

Website design By BotEap.comIf he solves the problem by picking it up, Dad might say a good choice or nothing because Kenny solved the problem and he doesn’t need reinforcement.

Website design By BotEap.comIf Kenny looks puzzled, like “What’s the problem if I drag my towel across the floor?” Dad might say, “I don’t think you want to dry off with a dirty towel after cleaning yourself in the shower.” Now Kenny has more information than he did. He can choose himself to collect his towel.

Website design By BotEap.comIf you prevent children from thinking for them, they are more likely to increase their critical thinking skills and IQ. When parents expect children to analyze information and come up with a reasonable and rational solution to problems, they are likely to be surprised at how many times they will.

Website design By BotEap.comIf you don’t use the commands continuously, you can save them for when they have the greatest impact. Stop! Not! Do not do that! These commands have a special meaning, especially when a child is on a dangerous path.