Website design By BotEap.comThe cornerstone of any twelve-step meeting, whether for adult children of alcoholics or other groups, is sharing, oral and audible exposure, and expression of a person’s plight. But a closer examination of it will reveal its greater importance and the stages it can assume.

Website design By BotEap.comMost adult children have what can be considered an “abuse-loge”, that is, the almost automatic lines that they continually repeat to others about their upbringing that can contain aspects such as alcoholism, para-alcoholism, dysfunction, adversity and shame . . However, they can only skirt around it until they enter a recovery spot. Probing and penetrating damaging and traumatic circumstances, layered on them by years of hardship, takes time and trust, primarily because the same fears and anxieties they hate to experience in life are the same ones they must face in meetings.

Website design By BotEap.comMost likely, they will only observe, evaluate and absorb the process of sharing in its initial processes. Because many, whether adult children or not, fear public speaking and there is certainly an element of it in these very places, building up the courage to do so may take some time. Since they lack the trust that was stolen from them during their upbringing, they may already feel particularly exposed and vulnerable on such occasions.

Website design By BotEap.comIn addition to engaging in a form of public speaking, they bared their souls, exposing their deepest secrets about their home of origin and thereby breaking, perhaps for the first time, the family lies about dysfunction that ensured their perpetuation in front of the people they met. that they knew consider nothing more than strangers, at least until you get to know them and feel more comfortable with them.

Website design By BotEap.comFearing his judgment, they may rehearse in their minds exactly what they want to say, striving to do it as flawlessly as possible, only to conclude after the actual action that it couldn’t have been further from what they intended. They may also believe that their problems pale in comparison to those of others in the group, shedding light on their perception of their low sense of importance and self-esteem. They may be well aware of any imposed time limits. And your nerves, at least during your first few meetings, can be more powerful than them, hijacking your coherence. It is this last point that most needs to be understood.

Website design By BotEap.comProvoked and perhaps retraumatized, they are forced to face the very emotions they are trying to avoid, and may not understand how the cause can now become the cure. There is an axiom of psychology that says: “the only way out is through”; in other words, a person will never be free of his anxieties and fears until he goes through them and confronts them so he can come out the other side. But there is a difference between trying to do it alone and doing it in a group meeting.

Website design By BotEap.comConnected to God or a Higher Power of their understanding through the Serenity Prayer recited in standard fashion, they and everyone else are given, sometimes without awareness and always without visualization, guidance, support, strength, and comfort. from above. Sharing their burden in such circumstances relieves them, since the group dynamic is much stronger than the adversities that caused their breakup. And that Higher Power does more than just watch: it listens, desensitizes, and lifts the blocks, plugging, very gradually through the healing process, the holes in their souls.

Website design By BotEap.comAlso, witnessed by others who understand their struggles, they find additional comfort in their verification and validation of their pain and situation.

Website design By BotEap.comIn addition to the value of understanding the meaning of the sharing process for beginners, it has equal value for those who have been attending recovery meetings for a considerable time, as it allows them to gauge the stages and depths of what they say and their output. of its outer shell of abuse-logue.

Website design By BotEap.comAlthough they may have scratched the surface initially, progressive strength, restoration, trust and esteem allow them to penetrate to the bottom. The more they download, the freer they become, allowing them to partake in some of the aspects of life that previously they could only contemplate, but never fully embrace or enjoy. And, as they emerge from the darkness of their past into the light of their present, they can share more and more about how the recovery process has healed and restored them, and how it has paved the way to a brighter future.

Website design By BotEap.comSo powerful is the disease of alcoholism, para-alcoholism, codependency, and dysfunction that it takes the collective strength of the kindred spirit of a twelve-step group, guided by a Higher Power, to combat it, and sharing is the method. to triumph over her.