Website design By BotEap.comHAVING LOST our son, who was stillborn on October 30, and the fact that it’s only been four weeks since the funeral, five weeks since our first day with him, don’t assume you know my grief. It is different from what you think it is.

Website design By BotEap.comHaving been a student of grief for a decade, I have found that this most recent case, including the loss of my son whom I never knew alive, has been both a fine-tuning and a confirmation of God’s work accomplished in me. years. years ago. (Yes, actually, over ten years ago, now). I find it amazing how God can do something as simple as give me eternal hope. That happened and that remains.

Website design By BotEap.comThe memory of Nathanael Marcus I carry with me through Blessed Pounamu that I carry as it was given to me by a dear Pallister-Killian Syndrome (PKS) mom from New Zealand. Nathanael, having been diagnosed with PKS in utero at the 19 week scan, complicated by a severe congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH), would never live long. We have received a lot of support and love from the PKS community locally and globally. We had months to prepare. It wasn’t by far the only thing we had to deal with at the time; it was a significantly stressful season in more ways than I can tell you. But, with the Presence of our Lord, and through the prayers of the saints (you!), And thanks to our faith, we managed not only to survive, but also to prosper!

Website design By BotEap.comYou see, I don’t feel the least bit guilty for not being racked with desperate pain. Sarah is also doing wonderfully well; however, we are being realistic about it.

Website design By BotEap.comI love every time our 20 month old Ethan grabs my Pounamu; It reminds me of his endless brotherly bond with Nathanael.

Website design By BotEap.comWe truly celebrate that God is good, even though our second son has passed into the Lord’s hands.

Website design By BotEap.comI really feel that Nathanael has given me something; I feel like you’ve given Ethan something; Furthermore, we have a dear friend of the family, who is more family than friend, who shares Nathanael’s birthday; He feels that Nathanael has given him something.

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Website design By BotEap.comWe all really grieve differently. For the person who imagines ‘it is a long journey’ and ‘we pray that time heals his wounds’ and ‘do not be afraid to be sad’, they are wrong in my / our case. These are inappropriate things to say (if the person knows us) because these statements do not reflect our pain, what we are feeling. These kinds of words don’t really help because they are clichés, they are generalizations of pain, when we could all have the best luck to understand each other better.

Website design By BotEap.comLikewise, the person who expects us to get along with our lives is also wrong. Just because I am a pastor does not mean that I will give up everything, this season, to minister. I need to be free to minister within my family at this time. You won’t hear my apologies for doing that.

Website design By BotEap.comIf you want to be supportive, just say something encouraging or inspiring, like ‘you’re doing well, keep going’. We are easy to encourage and inspire.

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