Website design By BotEap.comAmy Chau has gained international attention since an excerpt from her new book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother was published in the January 8, 2011 issue of the Wall Street Journal. It’s already garnered nearly 8,000 responses and landed Amy on the cover of Time magazine. Amazon claims her book is a box office hit.

Website design By BotEap.comAmy Chau writes about why Chinese mothers are superior to Western mothers and why they raise children who are stereotypically bright and gifted. She claims tough love from her, the kind of tough love that includes insulting her children, insulting them, and banning sleepovers, playdates, computer games, and television. She means caring about her son’s achievements, not her self-esteem, and demanding nothing more than A’s in school.

Website design By BotEap.comI teach at an international school in Hong Kong and I asked my predominantly Chinese students to read Amy Chau’s Wall Street Journal article and respond. This is what some of them had to say.

Website design By BotEap.comDealing with traditional Chinese parents is difficult and frustrating. The techniques Amy Chau used to discipline her children may horrify many of her readers, but that’s just the way it is in Asian culture. Amy called her daughter ‘trash’. Well, I remember the day my dad called my brother ‘trash’. The crude statement broke my brother’s heart. He had never seen him so hurt. Amy Chau simply describes the reality of most children growing up in a Chinese family. Chinese children must obey their parents and never question their authority. I’m not going to judge the morality of the way Chinese parents treat their children, but I think a change certainly needs to be made.

Website design By BotEap.comYou might think that this writer is exaggerating the way Chinese mothers behave. Well it isn’t! Growing up in a Chinese family has been exactly the same for me. I have never had a grade lower than A and I have always been the valedictorian of my grade. I also started studying piano when I was very little and have been practicing a lot every day since then. It means that I have been restricted from participating in many other things, but now that I am studying music in high school, my piano skills are really useful. Chinese mothers believe that if their children work hard they will have a better life in the future. Chinese mothers can be tough, but they are only tough for the benefit of their children.

Website design By BotEap.comChinese mothers are concerned about their children’s academic and musical abilities. Almost all of my Chinese friends play at least one or two instruments, take sports lessons, and have a tutor for their school work. But not all Chinese parents freak out when their kids get a B. Most Hong Kong parents don’t have time to practice piano with their kids or do anything with them, they’re too busy working! Amy Chau may be an extremely ambitious and overprotective mother, but that doesn’t mean all Chinese mothers are like that. I know for a fact that my mom is not!

Website design By BotEap.comI am a Chinese boy who has experienced exactly the kind of parenting that Amy Chau writes about. I have also experienced the consequences associated with the Chinese style of parenting, including low self-esteem and fear of failure. Despite this, I believe that the way I was raised will ultimately make me a successful person, a person my parents will be proud of and someone their friends will look up to.

Website design By BotEap.comMy mom and I sat down and read Amy Chau’s article together. Amy said that Chinese parents believe that their children owe them everything. My mom told me that she doesn’t owe him anything. My mother has never hit me or insulted me. I even got some D’s last year in school, but my parents didn’t bother or force me to go to a tutor. I don’t like the way Amy Chau labels Chinese mothers and makes them look the same.

Website design By BotEap.comSometimes my parents call me a pig for doing something wrong. I know they don’t mean it and that helps me improve.

Website design By BotEap.comI think many Chinese parents are becoming more respectful of their children’s individuality and more of them are encouraging their children to pursue their dreams, rather than just pleasing their parents.

Website design By BotEap.comI feel sorry for the poor children raised by this dragon lady, Amy Chau. If those tactics were used on me, I would have left my parents.

Website design By BotEap.comAmy Chau says that Chinese parents think they know what is best for their children and therefore ignore all their own children’s wishes and preferences. This is exactly what my parents believe. Chinese mothers can raise successful children, but do they really communicate with them? NO! My biggest passion is theater and acting, but my mom wants me to go to law school and become a lawyer. She doesn’t care what I want to do because she wants her to ‘success’. The problem is that we have very different definitions of success. I believe that to be successful is to be happy. She thinks it is having a high income. I don’t doubt my mother’s good intentions. I wish I could listen to what I think sometimes.

Website design By BotEap.comWhen I was young I experienced exactly what Amy’s daughters Sophia and Louisa endured. But by the time I got to sixth grade, my parents realized that all their threats and restrictions were only making me hate them. Amy says that her tactics teach kids to excel, but I know kids whose parents are like Amy. Her kids study all night and still get B’s. Being tough on kids doesn’t guarantee an A.

Website design By BotEap.comAsia has the highest suicide rate in the world. Looking at all the students who spend all night studying, spend all their free time doing things they don’t love, and all the kids who are told they’re worthless, instead of beautiful, it’s pretty easy to understand that rate of suicide.

Website design By BotEap.comMy mom is a Chinese mom but she’s not like Amy. She praises me when I do my best, not when I get A’s. I’ve always appreciated that, except now when I apply to college, I have to compete with all those Chinese kids with perfect grades.

Website design By BotEap.comI am very glad that my Chinese mother is not a Tiger Mother: cruel, ruthless and unfriendly. She is almost the opposite. She just wants me to do the best that she can. In fact, I put more pressure on myself than my mom. I’m lucky my mother isn’t like the Tiger Mother.