Dating After Divorce: Your Reaction Causes Your Child’s Action On Your Post-Divorce Dating

Website design By BotEap.comAs you start to think about dating after your divorce, be prepared to know how your children will react to it. A big determining factor in his reaction is how you have responded to your divorce.

Website design By BotEap.comIt is typical for people to become upset and struggle with the transition from marriage to divorce. I’m not saying you have to keep your upper lip stiff in front of your kids and never let them see that you’re struggling with this life change. On the contrary, I think there’s a fine line between letting them know too much and letting them know too little.

Website design By BotEap.comYour children are also suffering. Knowing that this is hard for you is also comforting for your children. Being honest with them by telling them that you are sad or angry is okay up to a point. Lying around the house crying all day or badmouthing his other parent every chance he gets is going too far.

Website design By BotEap.comYour kids need to see you go through some of the grumbling and see you snap out of it too. Remember, every action you take is a model for your children of how to deal with life. He wants them to see a “normal” transition from marriage to divorce. Part of that is grievance. Part of that is anger. Goal, life goes on.

Website design By BotEap.comIf your children have seen you handle this transition and see that life is becoming more stable for you and them, they are much more likely to accept the idea of ​​you dating. It makes sense. Dating is just another part of that “moving on” process.

Website design By BotEap.comDoes that mean they will like it and wait for the possibility of a stepfather? I wouldn’t go that far. But it will seem logical to them that you have moved on and are heading towards a new stage in your life. What doesn’t make sense is watching him scream and yell at his other parent and then leave for a date an hour later.

Website design By BotEap.comBe real with your children in an age-appropriate way. If he asks why you want to date, let him know that you have accepted that the marriage is over and that you want to move on with your life. It is important that you emphasize to them that this does not mean that you leave them in the past. Reiterate to the children how important they are to you and how you will always do your best to make good decisions for all of you.

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