Website design By BotEap.comSometimes I hear from wives who are not as moved by their cheating husband’s tears as he would hope. For one thing, it can be extremely jarring to see your adult husband cry. On the other hand, most wives worry that he is just putting on a show because he has been caught. Some wives say that it is quite a pitiful sight, with the husband overwhelmed with emotion, but unable to look or speak to his wife while he cries.

Website design By BotEap.comA wife might explain, “I don’t understand my husband’s tears. He’s like a little boy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and got spanked. I’m extremely mad at him, so I know he feels my anger.” . I try to put myself in his shoes and I know he would be sweating a lot right now if the roles were reversed. So I don’t envy him at this point. But every time we try to have a conversation about it, he starts sobbing. He can’t even get the words out. He just cries and shakes. I’ll ask him what’s wrong and he’ll just shake his head. I’ll ask him if he has anything to say and he just shakes his head and he doesn’t even meet my eyes. Is he ashamed to be crying? Is he faking it? He is mad at me and he doesn’t want to look at me? What are his motivations for turning on the faucets? Why is he crying, but he doesn’t speak or look at me?

Website design By BotEap.comThis is just speculation on my part, but I think a lot of it is linked to guilt and shame. I think it probably hurts a man’s pride quite a bit to cry and continue repeatedly. A lot of wives think their husbands are faking it, but I think being overwhelmed by the emotion of every conversation would require a man to be a very good actor and willing to repeatedly humiliate himself. Not all men will meet this criteria. Maybe I’m naive, but I think many people (men and women included) who get caught up in an affair are sincere when they cry. I have heard from many cheating spouses in this scenario and none of them have admitted to faking tears. Instead, they legitimately admit to crying all the time. They are overwhelmed with emotion. In addition, they are usually very embarrassed.

Website design By BotEap.comI’ve never cheated, but I could only compare it to the time I was in a hurry and accidentally locked my dog ​​in the car with the keys in it. I realized what had happened right away and immediately called for help. A locksmith had to come and use tools to get the dog out. But before the locksmith arrived, he was frantically scratching at the door and looking at me confused as to why he wasn’t helping him. He started panting, pacing and panicking. When the dog came out he was hyperventilating and I was afraid this would hurt him. Even though he was ultimately safe and well, I cried over this incident for days afterward, even though my tears meant nothing. I was so mad at myself because I got distracted and put my dog ​​(who was like my son at the time) in danger. I kept thinking about the worst case scenario and it was weeks before I didn’t think about it constantly. And yes, every time I looked at my dog, I felt guilt, shame and pain that made me cry. This continued for some time. Luckily, the dog had many more happy years with me and I spoiled him a lot. So, as time went on and I didn’t repeat my carelessness, I thought about it less and less.

Website design By BotEap.comI can only speculate, but I think being the guilty party in a betrayal as serious as an affair is an extremely heavy burden to bear. Seeing someone you love hurt so deeply has to almost rip your heart out. After the car lockout incident, every time I saw my dog, I had a mental image of him panting in that hot car. And even the sight of him would make me start dancing again. I would think about how I would have felt if my carelessness had really hurt him. I’m sure her husband is feeling something similar. He sees you and just seeing you makes him face the gravity of what he did and what he has endangered. It is painful to face this. In my case, I didn’t want to hurt my dog. He was in a rush and this made me careless. That’s why her husband’s pain has to be so much worse than mine: he knows he made a choice that could have gone either way and he chose the choice that hurts the people he loves. And now he has to try to look those people in the eye and he can’t. He is ashamed. And ashamed. And probably horrified by what he has done. I can’t say that there aren’t men who don’t pretend when they cry. But try to imagine if the roles were reversed and you had to face your injured husband. would you cry I know I would. I would cry repeatedly and uncontrollably, if my dog’s story is any indication. And at first I might have a hard time looking at my husband because doing so would mean I would have to see his pain, which in turn would be incredibly painful for me. It’s almost like it’s so bad you have to look away, but that’s because you’re sorry and not because you’re insincere.