Website design By BotEap.comMy friend’s mother was coming to visit. I thought he would be excited but instead he just shook his head and lamented the fact that while he had to work from his living room, his mother would be organizing the rest of his little apartment.

Website design By BotEap.com“What’s wrong with that?” I asked. Sometimes I wish I didn’t live in such a big house because I never seem to have it organized and the idea of ​​magical elves organizing all my cabinets and drawers was so tempting until I realized I would have to throw out a million and one. scraps of papers, diaries, books, and wacky things, and suddenly the idea of ​​magical elves organizing my house didn’t seem all that tempting.

Website design By BotEap.comWhen I moved into my house, the first thing I did was organize my kitchen. It seemed the most practical thing to do, since it involved eating. And then after putting away all my pots and pans, and was busy congratulating myself on my organizational skills, I realized how stupid I was for starting my kitchen when I couldn’t cook and most of my meals consisted of take out food. .

Website design By BotEap.comDid I mention all the empty pizza boxes collecting dust at the bottom of my garbage can? I wondered if those magical elves could get rid of them in time for the garbage collection days that I keep forgetting. The empty sushi boxes in my car are something else. Perhaps their mother or those magical elves could get rid of them. I keep forgetting to throw them away when I go to fill my car with gas.

Website design By BotEap.comAnd that made me think of my friend’s tiny apartment that his mother was organizing for the tenth time since her last visit six months ago. What was left to organize?

Website design By BotEap.comCuriosity made me drive to her apartment. My friend was sitting on the couch in his living room, laboriously working on his laptop. No one could talk to him when he was working, so his mother and I quietly went to his kitchen to assess his progress.

Website design By BotEap.comHave you ever seen a box nest on top of more box nests and compacted into almost nothing? That was his mother’s last project. And of course, each nest of boxes had the contents listed on the outside in a microscopic print so that everything could fit in the little labels on the outside of the boxes.

Website design By BotEap.comI put on my glasses and looked for a magnifying glass, but still couldn’t read the fine print. How the hell was my friend going to read what was in those boxes? I guess when his mother leaves, he will turn those boxes upside down and put the contents of those boxes in more convenient places, like the entire counter and maybe the most convenient first shelf in the closet.

Website design By BotEap.comAnd that got me thinking. Maybe I should hire her to organize my house. What could hurt? As it is, I have no idea where I put something, so I wear the same two outfits every week or open the same cans of tuna when I feel like a worker or order a large pizza with different toppings. I try to alternate the ingredients to feel like I’m eating something different every night.

Website design By BotEap.comOne day my friend brought his mother to my house. He stood in the doorway and his eyes lit up. I could see her mentally organizing my entire house before I even looked at the different rooms.

Website design By BotEap.com“What is that room?” he asked twenty feet away.

Website design By BotEap.com“Oh that’s my office,” I replied, not realizing that I had just opened Pandora’s box.

Website design By BotEap.com“May I see it? I love offices; they are always so interesting.”

Website design By BotEap.comWhat can I say? I couldn’t exactly tell him to keep his nose out and not touch anything, could he? No, I couldn’t do that to my best friend’s mother. She walked into my office and I could see her mentally thinking about how I would rearrange my office furniture and equipment. Then, he saw what he called “junk” on my desk and I rolled my eyes wondering what he was going to do with it.

Website design By BotEap.comI did not have to wait long. She looked through my “trash” and started piling them up. How he cataloged them is anyone’s guess. She looked so pleased with herself that I didn’t have the heart to tell her that those piles of “junk” represented valuable pieces of information and that my entire business would collapse without them.

Website design By BotEap.comWhen he looked up and saw my nervous expression, he said, “Why don’t you two go inside and visit me for a bit? I can keep busy looking at all these interesting things that you have stacked on your desk. I bet your desk drawers they also have interesting things. “

Website design By BotEap.comI tried not to moan too loud. The contents of my desk drawers are the heart of my business and, no, they are not in any particular order, but I know where everything is. Or should I say, I knew where everything was.

Website design By BotEap.comMy friend’s mother was not like the magical elves I had envisioned, creating order out of chaos. She was more like a tornado sweeping through my office creating chaos out of the chaotic order I had. I wondered how I was going to make a living now that all my valuable information had been thrown away. Maybe they carefully disposed of it, but I’ll never know.

Website design By BotEap.comI didn’t want to seem too distraught and she kept assuring me that everything was there, but now in its right place and easy to find. In its proper place? How would I know its correct place and how long will it take me to find it?

Website design By BotEap.comWhen the two of them left, my head was spinning. How am I going to run my business? He even hid my schedule, so I don’t even know who’s supposed to call me tonight or what topics we’re supposed to be discussing. I felt bad thinking that my clients were going to think they had hired an idiot and I didn’t even know how to find the things she organized.

Website design By BotEap.comA short time later, my friend’s mom called me to thank me for giving her so much time organizing my office and telling me that the next time she comes she would like to organize all my cabinets and drawers.

Website design By BotEap.comI am seriously thinking about moving and just give my friend the post office address so neither he nor his mother can find me. I’m also seriously thinking about getting several of those disposable phones so they can’t call me to ask if they can come over.

Website design By BotEap.comBut the very thought of moving and having to go through all those cabinets and drawers and find new places to put everything gives me the creeps.

Website design By BotEap.comMaybe I’ll stay in this house to visit from time to time and rent a container to live with.