Website design By BotEap.comSometimes wives don’t know why their husband cheated on them while they were still married to them. They are convinced that if she was not happy and wanted to be with someone else, they would have given her a divorce. That way, he wouldn’t have needed to lie and be so deceitful. Of course, this thinking assumes that the husband really wanted a divorce. Not all men who cheat have any intention of ending their marriage. In reality, many do not. This is what many wives (myself included) have a hard time understanding what they are dealing with.

Website design By BotEap.comSomeone might say, “Now that I’ve caught my husband cheating on me, I’ve been poking around a bit. This woman approached my husband two years ago. I have an email between them where my husband admits he’s ‘flattered.'” ‘for ‘her offer of him’, but he insists that as long as he is married he cannot have another relationship. Basically, he wished the other woman well and told her it might be different if he wasn’t married, but he insisted that he was married. I suppose in theory this should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. Because two years later, she somehow wore him down. However, the thing is, she didn’t leave me. She didn’t end her marriage, which is what she insisted would have to happen. In fact, honestly, I don’t see much of a difference in our two-year marriage. ago and now. We were happy then and I thought we were happy now. We still had good regular sex. He was still being sweet and considerate to me. But I found a hotel receipt and then an email from her saying that she had been fantasizing about being with him for years and now it had finally come true. According to my husband, she only happened once and it just started. She swears to me that she was not going to leave me, that she still loved me. and that she just made a mistake after drinking too much. I do not think so. She’s been wasting her lately. She’s been spending more and more time in her office lately, so I think she’s probably been running around it and trying to get her nerves back. In fact, I think she probably made up her mind to have it happen (or suspected it might happen) long before it actually happened. I don’t think it was just a one-off, impulsive thing that would never happen again. So I wonder why my husband didn’t show the integrity that I know he has about her and then he told me that he wanted to divorce her before starting a relationship with her. Why do not you let me? Of course he is now begging me not to leave him. But it’s kind of falling on deaf ears. I would certainly prefer not to lose my marriage, but I feel the same way my husband said he felt: that if you’re married, that’s it. You have no other relationships. If you want to have one, then you end the marriage and then you have the relationship. My husband says that he does not want a relationship with this woman. He just wants a relationship with me. It just doesn’t make sense.”

Website design By BotEap.comI totally understand your confusion. Her husband’s behavior does not fit with her words and her character. Unfortunately, I know firsthand that men who are otherwise good and upstanding human beings can make colossal mistakes like this. In fact, the mistake is so catastrophic that we just can’t fathom how he would risk the very marriage he says he wants. I cannot pretend to understand the thought process of a man who cheats. I am a wife who dealt with this. But I can share what I hear from men in this kind of situation.

Website design By BotEap.comSome of them will tell you with what sounds like complete sincerity that they love their wife and are desperate to save their marriage. They will immediately cut off the relationship and never speak to the other woman again. Instead, they will spend their time chasing after the wife they betrayed. Or they’ll get a divorce (because the wife insists on it), but have a good time regretting her mistake. I truly believe there ARE some men who cheat who still love their wife and never intended to end their marriage. Are they trying to have their cake and eat it too? Yes. Does this excuse them? No. But they fully believe that they love her wives and usually beg her not to go away.

Website design By BotEap.comI know it doesn’t make sense. And only your husband can tell you what he’s changed in two years (although he may not fully understand it himself). He can claim that nothing has changed when it comes to his feelings for you. Men will often tell you that they cheated at a time in their life when they were wrong in some way. This could have to do with their jobs. Or with their elderly parents. Or with your health. Or with what you perceive as your appearance or vitality fading. But many will absolutely insist that he had nothing to do with his wife.

Website design By BotEap.comThat’s not to say that some cheating men don’t lie to the wives who caught them. This must also be considered. Your husband’s behaviors in the future will tell you a lot about his intentions. However, I would suggest that some men are telling the truth when they claim they never planned on leaving you OR marriage. This might not be enough and no one could blame you for that. But many men have affairs or one night stands and still believe they love their wife and are committed to her marriage. I know this is a huge and unfair contradiction. But men are often able to separate infidelity and their marriage in a way that some women never could (including me).