Website design By BotEap.comI recently heard from a very distraught wife whose husband had recently told her that he was no longer in love with her and that their marriage was “over.” He basically said something like, “I don’t want to hurt you, but it’s over between us. It’s over a long time ago and we did the best we could, but our marriage is ending and there’s nothing either of us can do about it.” that. I would like to part as friends, but we definitely have to part because there is nothing between us anymore.”

Website design By BotEap.comThis was the conversation the wife dreaded the most. She knew that things hadn’t been good in her marriage for quite some time. But she had no idea that her husband was going to tell her that it was all over. She said, in part, “well, I guess you’re telling me it’s over for him, but not for me. I still love him. I feel like if he gave our marriage a chance, we could come together.” together and make this work, but he was so hands-on that I don’t think there’s much I can do to make him change his mind.

Website design By BotEap.comUnfortunately, many women in this situation chose between two options. Or they allow their devastation to make them think that things are hopeless and that they should just give up, knowing that their lives will never be the same again. Either they go on a big campaign to win him back or make him change his mind. The only problem is that they often stoop to the negative or overly dramatic to achieve this, which may well do more harm than good.

Website design By BotEap.comIn my experience and opinion, neither of these two very common and understandable options is the best choice. I think there is a better way and I will explain it in the next article.

Website design By BotEap.comDeciding how to proceed when your husband says it’s over for him when you know it’s not over for you: The problem here (as you well know) is that you can’t control how another person feels. You don’t have access to his brain or heart, so you can’t “make” him change his mind. But what you can do is try to change their perceptions and opinions.

Website design By BotEap.comAlthough this is complicated. That is why it is so important that you proceed and react very carefully right now. Because you’re not likely to change his perception of you and the relationship from negative to positive by acting desperate, stressing that you can’t live without him, and arguing that he’s wrong in your opinion that it’s over.

Website design By BotEap.comYou cannot afford to appear out of control, desperate, weak, or unattractive right now. Instead, you’ll need to pick yourself up, maintain your self-esteem, and present yourself as someone who gets by and is in control. Sure, there’s a good chance he knows that you’re very upset and don’t want to leave the marriage. But he’s also probably waiting (and preparing) for you to cave in and trying desperately to do everything he can to change your mind. Hopefully, you’re not going to do this, but know that if you did, he probably wouldn’t perceive you as particularly attractive or desirable.

Website design By BotEap.comThe questions to ask yourself when you want to convince him that the marriage is not over: It is important to ask yourself some questions at this time. You need to know what problem or perception is standing in your way the most. In other words, what is it that makes her husband think he’s over? Because this is the perception you need to start changing.

Website design By BotEap.comHowever, when I say that you need to change it, I don’t mean that you should do it by insisting or insisting on it. You don’t want to stress yourself out or draw too much attention to your problems. You want to quietly undermine them on your own with your own actions and behaviors so that he starts to wonder if maybe he was wrong or acted too hastily.

Website design By BotEap.comThe other thing to ask yourself is what attributes or things drew your husband to you when you started your relationship. You must turn to these things right now because clearly, once upon a time, they were very powerful forces.

Website design By BotEap.comMake this strategy seem natural and not forced: I know that I am throwing you a lot and that there is a lot to consider. Despite this, however, any action you take should look and feel natural and genuine. If he thinks you’re acting or just trying to manipulate him, then suddenly you have even more to get over.

Website design By BotEap.comYou want to move slowly, and you want to set it up so that you can be your true self in the most flattering of settings. Yes, you may have to have patience combined with strategy for this to seem to happen naturally. What you’re trying to do is give your husband natural, unforced glimpses of a woman he thought she no longer existed.

Website design By BotEap.comYou want to surprise him and disarm him. You want to make him question what he thought he knew. He wants her to wonder if perhaps his perceptions were wrong and his actions were too quick. This may not happen overnight, and often it doesn’t. But between the time he tells her it’s over and the time the divorce is final, weeks or months often pass instead of mere days. He doesn’t rush and don’t let the feeling of pressure from him make him act or appear desperate, doubtful or clingy.

Website design By BotEap.comPerception is reality right now. If it’s not over for you, there’s nothing saying you can’t try to pick yourself up and focus on the positive. This might work to bring you back and give it another chance, and if it doesn’t, it’s certainly better than giving up and despairing. In my opinion and experience, it is certainly worth a try.