Website design By BotEap.comHave you ever heard the statement why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? What the hell does a cow have to do with men anyway? Let’s explore the meaning of this statement and how it relates to your life.

Website design By BotEap.comThis statement is an analogy for relationships. Who would buy a cow if they could get the milk for free? It would not make sense to buy the cow because they are getting the full benefit of the cow without the expense. Your mother or grandmother probably gave you this statement to remind you not to give a man everything without first getting him to commit to you. A friend recently told me a story about a friend of hers. His friend and his girlfriend had been together for thirteen years. They lived together and had a teenage son. Despite being together for many years, they had not formally committed to each other. One day this guy ran into an old girlfriend, they reconnected and felt that old spark again. Deciding that he wanted to be with his old girlfriend, he actually left his wife and son, and married his old love in an instant.

Website design By BotEap.comThis story reminds me of another couple that you may have heard of. Los Angeles Laker Lamar Odom and “Keeping up with the Kardashians” Khloe Kardashian recently tied the knot after a dating whirlwind of less than thirty days. Did you know that Lamar Odom had a long-time girlfriend with whom he had three children and never married? Hear what Liza Morales, his ex-girlfriend, had to say in the days leading up to Lamar and Khloe’s pending nuptials. “I will never forget to receive that text message. It just said, ‘Getting married soon, I want the children to meet my future wife.’ she revealed. ‘I’ve known Lamar for fifteen years and we had 3 kids together and he was always a real commitment phobic, so finding out that he was marrying Khloe Kardashian so soon was a bomb to say the least. “

Website design By BotEap.comThis is a sad but common story! If something like this happened to me, you’d probably have to get me out of jail. I’d be so mad at him and myself for letting him waste my time. Now what can we learn from this sad story? We can learn not to invest all of our money in a man who has not formally committed to us. I see so many women who play house instead of being married. Some of these women are not married but are doing everything as if they are. Some may even wish the union would be legalized, but for whatever reason their man is not ready to go down the aisle. The women I speak of often cook, clean, pay the bills, and raise their children. The problem with this situation is that they are acting like the wife without getting all the benefits or the title.

Website design By BotEap.comA woman I knew was ranting with me a while ago about how the bank would not allow her to make a transaction with her boyfriend’s account. He told the bankers that they were practically married, had children and lived together. The bank simply explained that she was not his wife and that they could not allow her to access his account. She was outraged and couldn’t believe the bank wouldn’t let her access her account. In addition to not having rights to your bank account, you could be denied rights to your pension, social security, life insurance, health insurance, etc. for that very reason. Plain and simple brides do not have the same rights or benefits as wives. If you do not have the desire to get married and cohabitation is your final destination, then you do not need to read on, what I am saying does not apply to you.

Website design By BotEap.comIf you want to be a wife, don’t get sucked into playing marriage. I have seen men promise women that they will marry them and they will never deliver. Even if he didn’t promise to marry you, you may think that living together is a natural progression toward marriage. Nancy Wartik discusses this issue in her article The Dangers of playing house:

Website design By“Some evidence indicates that women have less control over the progress of the domestic relationship. She may assume that they are on the way to marriage, but he may think that they are just saving on rent and enjoying each other’s company. Sociologist Susan Brown of Bowling Green State University in Ohio has shown that cohabiting couples are more likely to marry if the man so wishes. A woman’s feelings are not as influential, she found: man has to agree. What the woman wants seems to be less fundamental “.”

Website design By BotEap.comThe point is, living together before marriage can deter your chances of having a successful marriage. Your boyfriend or fiancé may be comfortable with living together and put the brakes on the walk down the aisle. You can glimpse married life and find that it is not as glamorous as you thought. Let’s face it, if you get the benefits of a wife without the risk of the marriage bond, why would you get married? You don’t have to worry about getting a painful divorce, paying alimony, or locking it out for life. Ladies, be careful when you “play house” because you may end up always playing wife rather than actually being a wife.

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