Website design By BotEap.comWhen a loved one dies, it is initially very difficult to accept the loss and begin the next chapter of life. However, the experience of millions of mourners tells us that is exactly what they had to do: realize that their old life is part of their personal history, and life without the deceased loved one will be very different.

Website design By BotEap.comThe concept of a new life for many mourners is repulsive because they think it portends the forgetfulness of the loved one. Could not be farther from the truth. Others think that a new life means starting over. Again, it is not true. In essence, starting a new life specifically means dealing with massive change. No one can resist change; it is the only relentless eternal force.

Website design By BotEap.comAs many therapists say, “what you resist persists.” That is, if you resist the changes that loss demands, pain and anxiety will continually haunt you as you try to live in the past. Here are four reasons why it is a new life after the death of your loved one. And, accepting it as a new life and being open to learning will help you immensely to adjust to your great loss.

Website design By BotEap.com1. Remember, a major loss means that a part of you has died, that part that interacted with the person who died. You no longer have that interaction, that part of your parenting community. When you realize this, it can be very scary. You will have to find ways to integrate the time you used to spend with your loved one in a new environment, a new life.

Website design By BotEap.com2. Almost all major losses involve developing new routines. It is natural to adopt the comfortable and predictable ways that we easily get used to instead of facing the unknown. However, one of the tasks of grief is to adapt to the absence of the deceased. In doing so, most of the time we have to assume some of the responsibilities that the loved one had.

Website design By BotEap.comSome examples: it may mean learning to fix things around the house, shopping for one person, getting used to an empty chair (or putting it in another part of the house), or eating alone at a new time.

Website design By BotEap.com3. Next, you may need to change your role, pursue a career, or become an advocate for a specific cause. You may have to be a parent and a full-time employee. Or you may have to work part-time to pursue a hobby or be a member of a club, or to stay in the apartment or house you live in.

Website design By BotEap.comIn any case, it will mean meeting new people and doing new things to maintain your standard of living. How are you going to spend your time? In volunteering? Go to school? Teaching? Supporting others? A series of other activities?

Website design By BotEap.com4. All of the above means that you will establish a new identity. You are no longer the same person you were before your loss. Part of the restructuring of your identity depends on your dependence on the deceased. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to create a new identity.

Website design By BotEap.comHow do we get a new identity? It’s a long-term project that often means giving up old roles and taking on new ones, assessing who you are (your identity beliefs) and who you want to become. It is structured in skills, relationships, new expectations and hopes, and the new behaviors necessary for your loss. We also define ourselves by who we date and who we reject.

Website design By BotEap.comYour new way of looking at the world, developing goals and purposes, accepting the huge change and telling yourself that you are good, capable, lovable and that you can love, will be intertwined with your new identity.

Website design By BotEap.comSo what can you do with the wisdom of the ages? The first step is to realize that your beliefs affect everything you do. If all. What you believe about death, an afterlife, your loved one, and your ability to cope with their loss drives your grieving work. Then decide where you want to go in your new life. Do you want to always be loss or restoration oriented?

Website design By BotEap.comBelieve in the inescapable: that loss changes us. There are few options here.

Website design By BotEap.comChoose to believe that it is a new life. You will always love the deceased. Talk to him and keep him alive in your heart, family celebrations, anniversaries and memorials. But start your new life, keep growing and loving. Trust the pain and let it run its course, and reinvest your emotional energy in your new life.